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Now here’s a dickhead you can actually recall knowing! The Jerk is a very special breed of dickhead.

The Jerk is the ONLY DICKHEAD that can actually claim that they were actually born a dickhead!

The Jerk is usually a Saggitarian, often shuffling their weight between each leg while standing, has a mouth bigger than the Amazon river, has a flat forehead, and always sports bleeding, skinned knuckles.

The skinned knuckles are not from fighting, but from constantly dragging them along the ground when walking.

The Jerk’s flat forehead is always the result of constantly striking it with the palm of their hand when remembering stuff, like their name, or what sex they are.

The Jerk has absolute “Champagne tastes on a Beer budget” and if they were any further up themselves, they would be perfect arse-holes and have to change their name again.

This dickhead jerk usually prefers to be called Nigel, Jim, Bruce, or Josh, instead of “oh duh”.

This dickhead is so easy to spot in a crowded shopping center. The Jerk is the one with all the sales-people hovering around him.

You know, the one who went in to buy a packet of gum, and came out with 40 litres of waterbased purple paint, 6 cubic metres of gravel, a new motorcycle, 160 pairs of enamelled Dutch toothpicks, a toaster, 3 garden hoses, and 17 D-cup brassieres!!

Towards the end of their teens, The Jerks are usually ready to admit their sexuality, and to finally begin to come out of the closet.

The males of the species often fantasize about their penis, and regularly play with it in order to reassure themselves that is is still stuck firmly up their own arse.

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Tags: alcohol, apprentice, aquarium, beer, bum buddy, carpenter, champagne, forehead, Formwork, gay, Hyundai, knuckles, Subaru, timber