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13 May

The Tosser

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Dick [Dial] | Category: Dickheads by Category

The Tosser is the original “King of the Kids” that will never grow up as wisdom eludes them.

The Tosser has to have, and wants to be the best of the best! They can ride a bike better, they can drive better, they can swim better, they can bullshit better, they can do anything better, if you don’t believe me, just ask them!

They will tell you that their dick is bigger and that they can toss it better than anyone! Unfortunately their manhood is definitely not bigger than their EGO!!!!!!!!!

They are the heroes of all male juveniles who try so hard to stylise themselves as personal “Mini-Dickheads”. Tossers are the chosen ones who invented the word “tosser”, and then refused to give it up and share the title.

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Often a very clever “cash-manager”, Tossers always seem to have heaps to splash around, and are often financed to the eyeballs. Once their perfect “better” world begins to go shitty, rumour has it they will simply go banko and begin the entire life-cycle all over again.

The Tosser usually has a huge dick, growing straight up in between their shoulders. Tossers generally respond best to names like Gary, Wilton, Clyde, Tim, Jason, Nigel, and Cyril, in preference to “Gunna” or “Yeh-Yeh”.

Tossing dickheads are easy to identify, by their billowing entourage of pimply teenagers in older shit-box V6 Commodores, and all trying very hard to act like perfect little dickheads too.

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