I have came to the conclusion that it’s not just people who are dickheads, but the majority of the animal world too.
Being a real lucky bastard, I somehow got “blessed” with having a bloody cat in the house! My daughter thinks that the sun shines out of it’s arse, but if I had my way I would be shining the sun with it’s arse!
Anyway, this young cat spends hours trying to climb up the doors and walls in the house. I mean, I am impressed as it can nearly make the 2 metre mark from the floor, but I am really pissed at the way it tends to slide back down the wall, using it’s claws as brakes.
What a Dickhead cat. That’s all it does is jump up the friggin walls. I even checked to see if it just had pepper or hot sauce on it’s arsehole, and maybe that was why it jumps. Nope, just a serious mental disorder I think, not uncommon in dickhead animals.
Still it is fun clipping its claws with nail clippers and watching it try to jump up the vertical drapes or screens. It gets a real dickhead look as it falls back safely to mother earth on it’s arse.
Rumour has it that this number belongs to a Dickhead named James Morshead. Apparently this Dickhead is trying to dodge the coppers so that they can’t serve him with his domestic violence warrants. He is such a Dickhead, that he doesn’t realize that the court hearings will proceed without him appearing to defend himself.
So what’s the big deal? Well this Dickhead loves to brag. Yep you got it, this dickhead is a real Jerk. He has done all the usual “hide-out” stuff like changing address and his car, but he can’t help hanging around his old stomping grounds and friends! He hasn’t quit his job, still at the same place for years.
He really thinks he has eluded the police, and is trying to start a new identity, with a new woman, ready to practise his domestic violence on her! Unfortunately for him, the local coppers regularly watch TV shows like “The Bill” and “CSI” every week and are fairly up to scratch on their detective work, so they wrote down his rego number, saw the mate the car was registered to, called around to his work and had a chat with his boss, and kind of shall we say “picked up the trail again”.
Oh, did we mention that they also call his cell-phone frequently and you’d never guess, Dickhead answers it every time. Even more stupid, if The Jerk misses a call, he rings it right back to see who it was. There is no doubt about it, this dickhead is certainly one of the dumbest criminal masterminds in history!
Don’t take our word for it, Dial-a-Dickhead on +61422032109 . Yes it’s an Australian Cell number, but the country code is included, and it’s well worth the $10 bucks or so (USD) to Dial-A-Dickhead like this.
Dick
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