www.Dial-a-Dickhead.com

The other morning we get a visitor in the office. It’s the electricity company meter reader, armed with his little meter scanner.

He wondered if I could unlock our side gate so he could access the electricity meters, as he couldn’t find the catch to open the gate.

I explained to him that the gate had no lock, not even a catch, and would he mind simply pushing on it, or even pulling on it to swing it open, as it had spring-loaded auto-closing hinges.

Boy was he red-faced! What a Dickhead! I mean seriously, where the #$@& has this guy been! The gate even has a sign on it saying “Disabled Access - Push to Open” with a little picture of a wheelchair on it!

Perhaps it is time that our money-hungry electricity company began to hire disabled people to read their meters. They wouldn’t have had a problem accessing our meters, because they can READ!

So here we are trusting a guy that can’t read a sign on a gate, to accurately read our power consumption for the period, so that we can be billed accordingly! Now i am worried!

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Have you ever noticed that most dickheads seem to work in the support or help industry? You know, when your cable TV dies and you ring that 1800-dial-a-dickhead number they provide?

The one where the support dickhead asks you absolute dickhead questions like “is your electricity still turned on” or “have you checked the on/off button?”. I love them, they seem to have a checklist that they are required to follow step by step, and when we try to jump a few steps by saying stuff like ” Look buddy, i am actually a retired technician, and everything is fine except for your cable”, you’ll hear this plaintive voice say ” Are you to be sure that the electricity supply for you house is still currently connected, can you to be trying a light switch for me please?”
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